My Boyfriend Sucks at Money, and Other Shitty Situations

“What should I do if my spouse doesn’t want to be frugal / save money / budget or just plain sucks at money?”

I hear this question all the time.


Probably because, since I claim to know a few things about money and relationships, readers assume I will have a pearl of wisdom for the ultimate Money + Love question:

What do you do when the other half of your relationship isn’t AT ALL interested in financial progress?

Other bloggers tackle this question all the time. Meredith of Love Letters says you should seek a financial counselor, Dave Ramsey says that you can’t have a happy relationship unless you agree about money.¬†JD Roth says that spenders can become savers.

Well, here’s my answer:

That sucks, I’m sorry, and this blog probably isn’t going to help your relationship.

Nope, I’m not being facetious, I’m serious: this blog isn’t going to do much for couples where one person is completely uninterested in, or opposed to, financial progress.

There sometimes isn’t a path forward as a cohesive unit when one person is determined to spend more than they make, unwilling to discuss money, dishonest about their finances, Or opposed to the idea of financial health.

If that’s your partner, I’m sorry. that’s hard news to hear.

It might be time to re-evaluate your financial goals and your relationship. Which one is going to survive?


For those of you that aren’t in this situation, here’s some good news:

I don’t care how big your student loans are, how low your credit is or how loud your fights are– if you both are committed to financial progress (even if that means different things to each of you) and are willing to talk honestly about money – you can find peace in your relationship.

You can become healthy, in your relationship and in your finances. And I want to help you get there.

thanks to Tom and Luis for the beautiful images.

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