A wise man once told me, “always talk about sex in the car.”
“But make sure it’s a long drive,” he said. “Don’t bring up threesomes when you’re just going down the street for groceries.”
Think of the one thing you want to say, a painful subject that’s never been discussed, a question you’re afraid to ask, a fear you’re afraid to say out loud.
Then get in the car and start talking.
Your significant other is trapped. And so are you. Whatever uncomfortable conversation you start, you’re guaranteed to finish it. Or sit in awkward silence.
Secondly, no eye contact.
Keep your eyes on the road. It’s amazing the things you can say when nobody is watching you say them.
Sometimes, in the middle of conversations that feel kind of like I’m having my pride or heart shoved through a juicer with a handful of kale…I stare through that windshield, open my eyes as wide as I can, and silently mouth, OH MY GOD, to the sky.
Then, I calmly say, “thanks for sharing your feelings sweetheart.”
For years, I have taken his advice. Not just with sex, but with relationship issues, secrets, old resentments.
And with money.
Where was I when I asked my mom if she was planning on paying for my college degree?
Where was I when I told my first boyfriend that I didn’t understand why he always needed to borrow money from me even though he made twice as much at his job? (the $200 designer jeans should have been my first clue…)
When I asked my college boyfriend how much money was in his savings account? (verdict: alot)
When that same boyfriend asked me how much money I spent on alcohol? (verdict: alot)
When I told my dad that I wanted him to write a will.
In a car.